The Beginning of the End of Things

We are all anxious for an end to this seemingly perpetual turmoil


These last years, from the summertime of 2007 until right this very moment have been harrowing to say the very least. When thinking in terms of how much longer it is that we have to suffer through yet  more turmoil, the thought in our heads should not be about how much we want an end to things, but rather on what it is that we will do with all this newly acquired Wisdom.

Even as many of us are materially poorer, the fact of the matter is that on the upside, we are all Spiritually more abundant than many of us have been in the entirety of our lives.


I am willing to bet that you can think back a few years to the idea that what was going on at that time would go on forever and ever into the Universal eternal abyss. For me, I was in the middle of pretending to be good at having a whole lot of money, of living in what I now know was not that big of a deal of a big fat house, of pretending to wedge my Higher Self into a life and style that were chosen for me. I know now, even in all my utter material lacking, in all my "in limbo" and in everything and all that has happened to me, my family, my life, that I would not ever, not for any amount of money, not for any promise of best selling book author status, not for all the poi and lomi salmon in the world, change one part of any of it.

I am stronger now than I have ever been. I am wiser now, more patient, more easily and readily able to deal with things head-on instead of just letting them slide on by until time is running out and I am at a deficit for things that issues we experience need- time and thought, both of which, just three years ago, was in high demand and short supply in my life and perhaps in the lives of many, many others. What I needed, what we all needed and what so many of us have decided is an option instead of a requirement is not more money, not more stuff, but simply, a better understanding of our very selves. We can never know one another until we are willing to know our selves. How sad it is to know that we are among people who know much about the world we live in, but nothing of the one person they think they know but are clueless about - their own Selves.

What I mean by "the beginning of the end of things"


I mean that right now seems to just drag on by, which, normally, at least in my own world, means that things that I have been manifesting are about to begin to show signs that the Universe and God know that I am ready for the big changes ahead, that maybe I have been hasty in the idea that I deserve anything or do not deserve anything, and that surely, within weeks to come, there will be sureness and signs that the beginning of the end - the slow beginning of the end, that is - of all these tumultuous things that have happened are about to take a turn, not for better and not for worse, but all for the sake of and in the name of Universal balance.

In other words, that which was crappy and has stayed crappy is about to become not so crappy anymore. Things that broke our hearts and made us believe that who we are depends on what we have are not so weighty anymore and those things that we lost, for whatever reason and however we lost  them, do not matter anymore to those of us who have decided that now  is the time when we should be reflecting, not regretting, on those things that are no longer here. We should not be pining for what was, but rather, for what is. No matter how much we miss our things there is one thing that we have all gained in the losses, and that one thing is that not a whole lot of us have been able to see past what it is that we lost.

Many are choosing only to know our losses but are not willing to see what it is that we have gained through it all.

What have you gained?


Yup...what have you gained? What is it that you have learned through all the turmoil and what is it that you have come to find out is the truth about yourself and who it is that you really and truly are? Are you not every bit as strong as no one else and even your very self would believe you were and are? Are you not every bit as ethically inclined as you have always known you are? Do you, at this time in your life, finally Know Love, and Truth, and how just to simply Be in the Moment? Ask your Self these questions before you decide that life sucks for you and that things are just not going to change. Think about how much you have gone through and who you have become because of it all. I believe that you will find that you cannot even begin to imagine being who you were long before the turmoil became a normal part of your everyday life.

I can say for sure that even though I bitch a lot about what is going on, even as I know that things are never going to be as they were and that yes, very soon, I will be by myself, I would not, if given the opportunity, change one thing that has happened to me and for me these past few years. I would not be who I am right now if I did. I would not be this strong, this Wise, this smart, this person. I would not be able to wake up in the morning, hopeful for the things that are in manifest, and I would not even bother with the things that I love to do, which is to write and to dance. I would not be able to look myself in the eye if I knew that at any point at all throughout these last few years I wanted to give up and just let someone else do everything for me. I know that I needed to go through what I have been through in order to have what it was that I so wanted, which was simply just the ability to see everyone through the eyes of Love.

I would not change one thing - this is the person who I asked to be. I wanted to be more intuitive, and I wanted to know what it was like to have compassion which came from the very depths of my soul and I wanted to understand the hurts that others go through, all in the name of Love. I wanted to be able to have a certain level of Knowing, a certain degree of understanding what it was to be in the other guy's shoes, to walk the length of that infernal tunnel of pain at whose end the light seemed but like that of a pinhole. Without all these things that hurt us and made us crazy for as long as they have, not one of us would be able to know for sure that we have been made solid, not even like rocks but instead and rather, like diamonds which have been carved by the hands and the chisel of time and turmoil. Without all the crap in our lives, we would, ourselves, be the thing which we loathe - which is, by and large, crap !

You cannot expect everyone to change, just your self


I have this friend. I cannot say her name. She knows who she is. We were friends from the very first hello. Yes, I pissed her off one time, and it was not until a few exchanges later that we found out that we were meant to be pals, and to this day, a few years later, we are still thick as thieves, close like sisters who were born within the same star family even as we were not born of the same womb. We are different as day and night, but we are close as to friends can be. I have only a very few people in my life with whom I share this sort of closeness, and I am close with them because of the one thing that we have in similarity with each other.

We have all been through a whole lot of crap, and we are better and stronger for it now, when it matters. Another friend goes through crap with her "only wants her when she tells him she is leaving" scab of a husband, and there is the one friend who, just a few years ago, was stricken with illness so grave that the doctors were not sure that he would make it through, but he did, and he is stronger for it because of it. And by stronger I am not talking about being stronger physically only - I mean he is also stronger in the soul because of all the people who would NOT take him to the ER when he so badly needed to be taken there. There are more than just these three, and it is strange to me sometimes that I draw these people to me, but if you know me, then you know that for me strange IS normal. I draw people to me who can relate to turmoil and I draw people who have something other than a sad story to offer me and the rest of the Universe as a sample of who they are as people. I draw the truest of the true, because that is who I am, and dammit, it was not easy learning to be this person, but it was very, very worth it, every minute of it- tears, foul language and everything else that goes with having to grow.

We can no longer only be willing to see what we have lost. What is lost is in the past, and what is to be we can never know until then is now. All we have is this moment to be brilliant, to be who we are and to Love our Selves the best way we know how to, by being honest and patient and by learning to simply just Be in the Moment, in the Now, because the Now is all we really have anyway.

'Tis truly the beginning of the end of things we have come to know as 'normal.'


We all need to learn to get accustomed to the idea that life as we knew it a few years ago is over with. We no longer have a reason to pine for the things we had, only time to learn to let go of what is gone and can no longer serve us or the purpose we are here to serve. If you were ever wondering what it was that God was doing when God decided that it was time for you to lose your stuff, God was busy starting to teach you what it was that you needed and wanted and asked to know so that you would no longer be blind and wandering through the proverbial and perpetual wilderness called Life. It is now time to start really thinking about Who You Are and what it is that you are supposed to be doing in order to serve the rest of the population of Earth, one person at a time, one soul at a time.

When I say that it is the beginning of the end of things, I mean things that we have gotten used to being normal for us. If you have been waiting for change, well, my friends, it is upon us.

Change. It is that thing you asked for and cannot  handle dealing with. You wanted it. You are getting it.

So deal with it and smile as you deal - your end of things is about to begin !

I LOVE YOU ALL !!
...Roxanne...