Don't get me wrong - I love writing "The Luminous Heart" but sometimes I need to be the me that is in real life. If you know me, see me, have been around me, you know that everything I write in my other beloved blog is totally me. However...
All this time I have been denying a part of my Self that is just begging, pleading and promising horrible things if I do not let it out to at least play a bit...
In all the madness that is now life for many of us (you know...the lack of a job thing, the "the car's running like shit" thing, the "oh shit, I forgot to pay that bill" thing, the life thing...) we have evolved into proper people with proper manners and properly placed attitudes, and make no mistake, we are all way more patient and loving and all that good bullshit, but the fact remains that we each have a shadow side and unless we allow the shadow side of us to have a say so in the daily doings of our lives, we can guarantee that eventually, that shadow side is going to come out and play, all on its own, and my shadow side (I call her Loretta) likes to do things that are not that nice, likes to wear things that are more appropriate for the starring role in a girl-girl Vivid Video Production, drinks and swears better, more and louder than any seasoned sailor can claim to having ability to, and yup, she will steal your man, turn him into something more akin to what the cat dragged in, send him on his way crying like a little girl while muttering things that sound like promises to not ever objectify women, ever, ever again.
Hey man, I was told that I have to behave, but no one told my shadow that part
I would sit here and continue with the niceties, but over the years that have passed and in the time that the now not-as-busy-as-it-once-was-but-very-beloved-still maliciousbitch.com, the not so distantly remembered blog that started it all for me (which is now a book that needs badly to be revised...) The Observations of a Demented Housewife, a year or three on Facebook, and the idea that those who know me in real life also know that I can be a bit of a snarky bitch, then you already know that though The Luminous Heart is a wonderful thing to write and to read, I gotta be me.
If you know me then you know that I am not a rabid feminist but that I don't tolerate the shit that a lot of people - women included, if you can believe that - seem to think is ok to post anywhere about women. (DO NOT objectify me, objectify my global sisters and whatever you do, do NOT NOT NOT bother to be creepy with my daughter. I am not the one you have to worry about in that case- let's just say that I have taught her very well.) If you know me, then already you know that I am not one to not live from the part of my Self that is fearless (even though I harbor some very real fears...and yes, that includes spiders- I HATE spiders) , not one who will NOT question that which deserves to be questioned, and totally not one who does not at least try to live with the entire planet and all her occupants in mind, because each little thing we do, say, think impacts everyone who we share the air with.
Whiskey and spiked collars
If The Luminous Heart is all about the heart and soul, then this blog is totally about the shadow side of that same heart and soul. This one is about that part of us that wants to go out into the world, saving horses whilst riding cowboys, stay up all night in a dank and dark corner of a dank and dark casino in the dankest, darkest, seediest part of Las Vegas, sharing a bottle of Jack Daniels with a bunch of strangers who are more willing to slit someone's throat than they are to just smile, wave and walk away from someone who cheated at the blackjack table.
However, The Vodka Chronicles is another side of the heart, the soul, and from time to time, the ego as well. For it is that what we call our pride is actually our ego, and when that ego rears its head, that is when we see the shadow in us at work...
Roxanne...
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