I have never, ever even bothered to watch a reality show that sounds like "murky whore." Not now nor ever shall I bother to sit through an episode, ever. My big issue with this particular show is that one particularly popular character on that show was recently handed a book deal. Am I jealous? Well, when thinking in the mindset that books are the things that we keep encouraging our kids to open and read, and looking at the problems that we face anymore with literacy, with the idea that there are a lot of parents in the world who keep on straddling both sides of the brain-goop fence, and with the idea that there is a LOT of money to be made writing anything, why is it that publishing giant Simon and Schuster has decided that a certain unnamed female character on the show that rhymes with the words 'murky' and 'whore' was talented enough to actually pen a novel? I mean, in order to write anything at all, doesn't a person sort of have to have a fucking clue about words and how they are strung together in a sentence that makes sense?
Jealous? No. Angry? Oh HELL yes I am!!!
Yep, call me a word hag, or call me an old word hag, or you can even call me a jealous word hag bitch, the bottom line is that this is a slap in the face to people like me - the writers of the world, and I am not the only one who feels a little on the "why oh WHY did you do this, S&S? WHY??? Doesn't that stupid bitch have enough already? What about this stupid bitch? I am a better writer, surely than THAT, aren't I???" And though I know that it probably is not the most attractive way to be about anything, it is what it is, and right now, it is the idea that anyone, namely a huge publisher such as Simon and Schuster, even though I know that it is all about the money in this case, would even THINK to put her name in the same sentence as "...new book has hit the shelves." Ugh !
The real problem is not that this was handed to her
The real problem is that people think that she has a working brain cell enough to pick up a pen, period. (OK, no that is not it either, but I just couldn't resist saying it).
The real problem is that no one is bothering to tell her the ugly truth (that she is a loud, obnoxious tramp who is really not all she thinks she is, and yep, I would tell her to her face...really, I would). No one is telling her that at the moment, she is what is 'hot,' and she is only this right now because of her television presence, and nothing more than that. As soon as the new Stackie or Skanky comes along this little tart is going to be out of sight and out of mind, sitting atop a stack of her 'book' and wishing upon wish that she had bothered to learn to do something OTHER than whatever the hell it is that she does on that show that rhymes with the words "murky" and "whore."
Hot eventually becomes warm, and warm becomes room temperature, and eventually...
Have you ever thought about what happens to old rock stars when they are no longer 'hot'? (if you want to know, Google Motley Crue's Vince Neil and Skating with the stars...it's all there in vibrant and shocking and shameful HD color) They end up trying too hard to be something they were never thought to be - human, with human foibles and capable of making tremendous errors in judgment. (Again...Google...Neil...Skating with the stars...yeesh!)
Hot cools to being warm, and if you have never had a warm cup of coffee versus a hot cup of coffee, it is akin to drinking a warm and flat beer - ewww. You can always rewarm the coffee, but you know that it isn't fresh and you can stick the flat beer in the freezer for a bit, and yeah, you will still get the same effects of the beer that you would if it were still fuzzy and bubbly, but it just won't be the same.
This, too, can be said of people whose lives and livelihoods and most of all, who they are, whether they realize it or not, have been basically handed to them. It could be because they are incredibly good looking, but good looking does not mean that they are also going to be smart, or because they are smart, in which case, they can fix their facial faux pas - regardless of how they got where they are now, eventually they will end up no longer being there, and because the ego is such a...a...pain in the ass and more akin to a princess, it will demand that whoever has gone from hot to lukewarm continue to seek out another way to become hot again.
And there is no microwave to do that, at least not in this life.
The Bigger Picture
Think a few years ahead if you will, and think about what this person who was handed a book deal completely based on her temporary fame, and think about where we might see her in that time. Nothing that we see on TV is real, not even reality shows, and there is no guarantee that what we are handed right now is the end of the search for meaning in our lives. It isn't - not now, not later, but instead, it is ongoing, the search. And I promise you that once you think you have found the meaning of your life, you will again find out that not only was your thinking that you found the meaning of life in error, you will also find out that there are no concrete answers. You will find out that the answers that you discover are temporary and apply only to the here and the now.
The Bigger Picture is a work in progress. The Bigger Picture is incomplete until we can realize that it is never done, that it is a fruitless chase of ideals that are not concrete.
The Ego is a sticky little booger
We all have one, an ego, and it is what a lot of people refer to as our "game face." The ego is that little piece of who we are that tells us that people are going to judge us, that they are going to size us up, look down on us and try to make us basically feel like we have to explain who we are, and we don't ever have to explain who we are. But, our ego is that thing that makes us do things that we do so that we can outdo, impress or in some way try hard to affect the way that said person feels, not only about us, but even about their own selves.
Our ego wants us to feel superior to everyone else in our lives, and our ego does not give a rat's ass about how it makes anyone else feel. Our ego only cares that it gets fed, gets coddled and stroked, and it only serves to make sure that we are shielded from the truth. We know the truth of who we are, what we are and what both of those things really mean and really do. We have all seen the elder man who is dressed like that other moron on that show - you know who he is...he is in his late 30's to late 40's, dressed in clothes that are more appropriate for my 16 year old son than for someone old enough to be his father. We have all seen the woman in her 40s, wearing a micro-mini, all her business hangin' out all over the place, wearing way too much make up, having spent way too much time at the tanning salon, the hair salon, the nail salon and of course, the night clubs, who is also hanging all over some good looking young man who is young enough to hang with her son who she refers to as her "roommate."
Think about these two examples, and then ask yourself what it is that your Ego has told you is ok. This is not to say that the ego is always a bad thing because it is not. The ego is like a black light in a forensic investigation - it illuminates with dark light what it is that is not apparent to the naked eye, and in this case the ego illuminates what we choose to hide from the light, not only so that no one else can see what it is that we are ashamed of, but also so that we do not have to look at it for whatever it is in reality. The ego is that thing , that piece of us that makes us go out into the world professing that we are the greatest and that no matter who says what, that is the truth.
BUT...
That truth and the truth that hurts like a bitch is the thing that the ego is trying to hide. The ego's whole ballgame is to ensure that it gets fed so that it continues to live whether we want it to or realize that it is there or not. We are not who we show the world we are IF who we show the world that we are way cooler than anyone else and we are compelled to tell people this about it. (In other words, as my gorgeous friend Kim says - "If you have to tell people that you are cute, then you're not. Same thing for everything else that we have to tell people we are that is way cooler than what we believe we are but what we keep telling ourselves that we are ...)
The ego is a funny little creep. It steps in when we want to be stroked, when we want to be seen and heard and known, and the ego is very good at making a scene, good or bad.
It is nothing to be an egotistical moron, namely when you are being told who you are by millions of strangers, but it is a hard time to try hard to be someone who we do not even really know...our own damned selves...
...Roxanne...
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